Her jokes
What were Christa McAuliffe’s last words to her husband?
"You feed the dog, I’ll feed the fish."
What's the best part about getting a lap dance from an Asian woman?
Her eyes are so narrow that she can't see if you don't pay her.
Yo momma so ugly, they celebrate her face every Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly, your grandma wanted to name her Abomination, but the registries agent changed it.
Yo mama so short, Super Mario mistook her for a Goomba and jumped on her head.
Tracy Latimer was described as cheerful, popular at school, and as an animal lover.
Just trying to gas her up a little bit.
There are so many things about Tracy Latimer's murder that I wish I knew. Did he buckle up her seatbelt? Did he put the radio on for her?
Did he tell her she was going on a little trip to Gastown?
Alberta.
The only province where the Premier wears anal beads around her neck.
My Premier is so fat she has her own gravitational pull.
Why did Monika look at the recycling bin with tears in her eyes?
Because she realized she just couldn't delete her feelings for you...
Why did Stephen Hawking's girlfriend finish with him? Because he would never walk her home.
Why couldn't the teacher let her kids out?
Because she has no arms to open the door.
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. I was sitting in the back of the movie theater, where no one was. Suddenly, she was sitting in front of me with some guy she was hugging. I was furious. I couldn't stay there anymore, so her friend and I had to finish it in the toilet.
Yo mama is so old, when I told her to act her age, she died.
What is the difference between a prostitute and a wife?
A prostitute will fulfill your needs with your money; a wife will fulfill her needs with your money.
Pro marriage tip: Let your wife know you’re all about women’s rights. There’s no reason she needs to talk that much; it’s not like replying to her is voice activated.
I forgot to tell Alicia I saw her mom a couple days ago.
In a porn video!
Why does a brother love his sister?
Because he came in her.
I have a crush on a girl and both her parents are millionaires.
I guess that gives the term "Eat the rich" a whole new meaning.
How can you tell a woman's pussy is good?
You smell her fingers.