Her jokes

Lesbian

  • I have a crush on a girl and both her parents are millionaires.

    I guess that gives the term "Eat the rich" a whole new meaning.

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  • Symptom

  • My mom told me that her doctor told her personally that she had to keep herself isolated because she has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great ass.

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  • Blonde

  • Three girls were lined up for execution. The black-haired one, being the smart one, turned around and yelled, "Tornado!"

    Everyone panicked, and she escaped. The red-headed one, following her example, shouted as the executioners got back, "Hurricane!"

    The red-headed friend escaped too. Now, it was the blonde's turn. Following both her friends, she turned to the executioners and yelled:

    "Fire!"

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  • Panda

  • A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.

    The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"

    She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."

    The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."

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  • Black

  • A small, nervous woman steps into a hotel elevator in Las Vegas.

    At the next floor, three large, burly men step in. The woman is immediately intimidated and clutches her purse tightly.

    Suddenly, one of the men says in a deep voice: "Hit the floor!"

    Terrified that she is about to be robbed, the woman drops her bags and collapses face down onto the floor of the elevator, cowering in fear.

    The men burst out laughing and help the bewildered woman up. The speaker apologizes profusely and says: "No, ma'am, I meant hit the button for our floor!"

    The next morning, the woman receives a massive bouquet of roses and has her entire hotel bill paid for. Attached is a note that says: "Thanks for the best laugh I've had in years."

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  • Balance

  • So, I was at the gas station drinking a Slurpee when I heard an old lady start talking to me. She says, "Hey, can you check my balance?" so she could buy a chocolate bar.

    So, I pushed her over and said, "Not much."

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  • Pussy

  • Him: Hey girl, do you have pet insurance?

    Her: Yes, why do you ask?

    Him: Cuz I'm going to bang that pussy up!

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