Her jokes

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.

A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.

The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"

Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.

How do you blind an Irish woman?

You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.

When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.

How do you know if a chick is too fat?

If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.

Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.

Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.

Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.

Him: Hey girl, do you have pet insurance?

Her: Yes, why do you ask?

Him: Cuz I'm going to bang that pussy up!

Foxy the fox was a careless fox. She didn't care about her friend Froggy.

Froggy was a careful frog. One day, Froggy decided to teach the fox a lesson.

Foxy was in her bed sleeping when Froggy made her room an entire mess. She got up, and then her mother berated her for not cleaning her room. From now on, she is a careful fox.

How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?

By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.

A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."

My favorite sex position is the “JFK,” I splatter all over her as she screams to get out of the car 😂

Yo mama so FAT... I tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!

"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."

I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.

Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.

I was in the bank one day, and this old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.

Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.

How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice?

Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear.