Her jokes
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
Yesterday I asked an emo girl if she's jealous when her phone dies.
My wife complained about me being childish. So I told her to get out of my fort.
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.
Yo mama so fat that if we cut her open, we could stop world hunger.
Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
My Mum texted me she had lost her phone.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
Ariana Grande was in the store, and when she put her groceries on the counter, she said, "Thank you, next!"
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.
Yo mama so stupid, her favorite color is clear.
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.
Yo mama is so old, when I told her to act her age, she died.
Me: Yo mama so fat her alphabet starts with O.
My friend: What's that supposed to mean?
Me: O B C D.
Your mama is so ugly, she summoned Bloody Mary.
She handed her an application through the mirror.
Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"