Her jokes
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
Her (DYM 121).
Why did Sophia cross the road?
To eat her nuggies!
Her: Eat my ass!
Me: Yes, chef!
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
shes creepy, no?
Yo mamma so dumb, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Mom said drugs are my enemies. God said love your enemies. What do I tell her?
Yo mama is so ugly that Rick Astley gave her up.
Your mama's so crazy, she cooks her chicken drumsticks in raspberries and milk.
I said, "Are you half left or half right?"
"Neither! In-between."
"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"
Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.
I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
Your sister is so short, she needs to roll up her panties.
Your mama is so stupid, she put a ruler under her pillow to measure how long she slept.
Leo is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads her, but we're forced to deal with her anyway.
Yo mama is so dumb, her reflection said, "Who are you?"
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”
A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."