Her jokes
What is the best way to pick a woman at a bar?
Spike her drink with roofies
It was too irritating to listen to her and lend her my ear to talk to.
My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.
Your mama is so fat, guys have to bring climbing equipment to have sex with her.
Yo mama so fat even God could not lift her spirits.
I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.
I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.
Yo mama so fat, a bus ran into her and she said, "WHO THREW THAT TWINKIE AT ME?!"
Yo Mama is so fat that Nationwide took nine years to get on her side.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
Your eyebrows and hairline are so far apart that when Dora the Explorer went and found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows, the map couldn't even tell her.
I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.
My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.
Yo mama so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.
Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.
Yo mama is so ugly that her DoorDash driver took her order away.
What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?
She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.
I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.