Her jokes
"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."
Yo mama is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.
Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"
Yo mama is so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.
She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...
Yo mama's so dumb, her dad said, "You're driving me crazy," and she said, "I didn't know crazy was a place!"
Yo mama is so ugly, even the ugliest person in the world looked like a sword standing next to her.
Him: I work with animals all day.
Her: Awwww what do you do?
Him: I'm a pornstar.
I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.
What did Caesar call a person?
She-Caesar.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?
Because she had none of the above.
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
Yo mama so poor, when I rang her doorbell, she said, "Ding!"
Your mom is so fat the space shuttle can see her from 10,000 miles away.
My girlfriend asked for a kiss, so I gave her my dick.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
My wife is pregnant with a 3-year-old, so I gave her medicine, but now she’s pregnant with a 5-year-old.
How do you give an "Alabama Girl" a nice compliment?
Answer: You say to her, "Hey, NICE TOOTH!"