Her jokes
Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?
So she can moan with her right hand.
There’s a woman cutting onions when her husband walks in and starts crying. Onions was a good dog.
How do you get a hippy pregnant?
Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
Yo mama so fat, her belly button got 15 minutes before her.
Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.
You know why they call her Wonder Woman?
She's always wondering where she parked her invisible jet.
My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:
Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.
Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.
Yo mama's so fat, I run around her for exercise.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"
My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.
I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.