Her jokes
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
Yo mama so hairy that bigfoot dated her.
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?
Screamed till her hands fell off.
My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.
So I threw an orange at her.
Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.
Ally before the other girl goes on stage: Break a leg!
Rachel: Alright!
On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg.
Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!
Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.
My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏
Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.
What do you call a blonde who's dyed her hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.
Q: Where did Sally go on her bike? A: Nowhere.
What's the similarity between a 14-year-old girl and the fetus inside her?
They're both thinking, "Oh fuck, mom is gonna kill me!"
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!
Your mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
About to go on a date.
But she was late.
So I got some tape.
And eventually punished her with rape.
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.
But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?
One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
Why should a feminist never be allowed to join the UAW United Auto Workers?
Because the only thing that a feminist will do in the UAW United Auto Workers, is eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom and she will only pay her membership dues, if she is allowed to eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom.