Her jokes
What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
No, and neither did she.
How do you get a hippy pregnant?
Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.
I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:
Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.
There’s a woman cutting onions when her husband walks in and starts crying. Onions was a good dog.
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?
So she can moan with her right hand.
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
Yo mama's so fat, I run around her for exercise.
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"
Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"