Her jokes
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.
He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.
Ally before the other girl goes on stage: Break a leg!
Rachel: Alright!
On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg.
Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?
Screamed till her hands fell off.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.
What's the similarity between a 14-year-old girl and the fetus inside her?
They're both thinking, "Oh fuck, mom is gonna kill me!"
Q: Where did Sally go on her bike? A: Nowhere.
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!
Your mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"
Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.