Her jokes

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.

Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.

How do you know if a homophobic woman that is a Christian nationalist and Catholic is poor enough she would be desperate enough to do anything to pay her bills?

she would be willing to perform anilingus and cunnilingus on women regardless of their sexual orientation in the LGBT community.

Yo mama's so poor, I knocked on the front door of her house and realized I was already outside in her backyard!

I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"

So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"

The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.

After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.

My favorite sex position is the JFK:

I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car.

How do you find a redneck virgin?

Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.

One day a Chief was talking to his son... "Son," the father said, "Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"

Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?

'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.

My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"

Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo mama so dumb, when the doctor told her she had coronavirus, she bought a new laptop.

Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.

Yo mama's so ugly that Sonic needed to go fast to get away from her face.

Yo mama so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo mama so fat you can see her from 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 galaxies away!

Yo momma is so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Your mama is so ugly, her shadow got a restraining order.

What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?

Her dad didn't beat cancer.

Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!

Red: snooore, snoooore

Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*

Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*

Chuck VS RED

Both LOSE!