Her jokes

"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"

"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"

"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."

Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity.

But she so ugly people are repelled by her.

Yo momma so fat that she could fit the entire map of the world on her body.

Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.

POV: Her name is Alli.

My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

Did you know Helen had a playhouse in her backyard? Neither did she!

My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.

Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.

My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.

The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.

Why doesn't Laila in UHS need an insult?

Have a look at her face!

A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."

A boy throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"

The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."

A can of worms popping up and down inside a lot of people and a girl ate the can of worms: It was her imaginenation.

Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."

My girlfriend accuse me of cheating. I asked her what was I supposed to do? She was just lying naked she said just do the damn autopsy.

What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?

Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”