Her jokes

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

So she gave me a hug.

Yo mama so fat, even Dora couldn't explore her.

Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.

I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.

The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.

I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Yo mama so ugly, her mirror broke.

Why were her hands purple?

She heard it through the grapevine.

My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"

What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her?

They’re both thinking, “Oh, shit, my mum’s gonna kill me!”

Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?

Because this teen just started her period!

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.

Yo mama's so fat, Darth Vader wanted her to be the Death Star!

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"