Her jokes
There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
Yo momma so fat, I took a photo of her last year and it's still printing.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"
Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.
Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?
Crack/her
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.