Her jokes
Yo mama is so ugly, they tried to get her to act the part for Godzilla!
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to fill her car with Vin Diesel.
Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the dentist, they make her lay face down.
Yo mama is so ugly that her portraits hang themselves.
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
What do you white people use as pronouns?
Crack/her.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
Yo mama so fat, she costs 15 elixir, and 3 inferno towers can't kill her!
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
Question: What do you say to give a woman from West Virginia a "Nice Compliment"?
Answer: You say to her: "NICE TOOTH!"
Your mom has quite the mouth on her.
As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
Q: What did the AISH worker do on her lunch break? A: Five Guys.
Michael saw mommy kissing Santa Claus and asked her why she did that. Mommy said she was a good girl. Michael Joseph Jackson asked, "Can I be a good girl and kiss Santa Claus?" Mommy replied, "When you grow up to be a rich white woman." And now, we know the rest of the story.