Her jokes
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn't make enough shadow clones to surround her.
Yo mama's so fat, Darth Vader wanted her to be the Death Star!
Herpes? No, I don't want her. Her pees.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"
Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?
Because she can listen to call music.
I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.
It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.”
I guess you could say, “harassment something.”
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
What makes Mrs. Grape 🍇 a good mother?
Raisin' her kids!
Yo mama so fat, she uses the Gulf of Mexico as her hot tub!