Her jokes

What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?

Her dad always comes back.

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"

Yo mama's so fat, Darth Vader wanted her to be the Death Star!

Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?

Because she can listen to call music.

Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.

Yo mama so fat even Nationwide can't be on her side.

Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.

Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!

Yo mama is so fat even Dora can't explore her.

My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

Yo mama so fat, when she falls, they have to call 999 and a crane to pick her up.

My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"

Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]

Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...

I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...

He could have married her!

Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.

Your mama is so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirit.

I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."

If a woman says she needs to set boundaries between you and her, you would be crossing it if you are a Mexican.