Her jokes

Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.

Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.

Yo mama is so clumsy, when she had her first kickboxing lesson, she kicked herself in the testicles.

Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.

I suggested to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hair back.

Apparently, that’s insensitive to someone during chemo.

What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?

Getting her husband's voice just right.

I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.

Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.

Yo mama so fat...

...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.

Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.

Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...

I didn’t expect her to come back so early.

What’s the difference between jelly and jam?

You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.

My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."

My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."

Your mom has quite the mouth on her.

As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜

Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.

Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."

Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."

I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.

Not screaming like her passengers.

How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?

She lost her taste.

Your mama is so nasty.

She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.

What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?

One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.

My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.

Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.

Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.

And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...