Her jokes

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?

Because she can listen to call music.

Herpes? No, I don't want her. Her pees.

Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."

Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."

Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.

“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.

“No, it’s curry this time.”

What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?

Her dad always comes back.

Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:

Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.

Her: Really? What?

Me: Sweet-in-low.

Her: Why?

Me: Because you're artificial.

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.

Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.

I told her, "Do a wheelie!"

Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.

Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"

Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.

One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.

Yo mama is so fat even Dora can't explore her.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.

She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

What makes Mrs. Grape 🍇 a good mother?

Raisin' her kids!