My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach. She asked me "why the hell did you do that!?!?" "I wanted to let you yk I'm pro abortion."
Kobe never missed a shot but he missed the helipad
I’m going to hell!!!
School was fun but it was hard almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
So there was this kid and he went to a store and said to a person there "I'm emo." Then the person told the emo "Why the hell are you here, shouldn't you be hanging in a tree somewhere."
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget and I am now traumatized to hell, the next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend. :)
-Dark_Humor
what did Stephen Hawking have for breakfast his left sholder
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught, having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust ring in hell-
I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!!
Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL! I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!
devil : hey angel angel : hi devil why are nice ? devil : what do angels add to there food to make it i little more spicy? angel : what? devil : angelpinos
I hope youi have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain
Why can't heaven and hell ever be one 2nd paradise? Heaven always has 5 star reviews.
I tried to eat ass once the donkeys got one hell of a kick!
Hell you fuck bitch dick
if satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.
aw hell naw
dey turned spongilebile in2 a frigin generator.
what are the sinful letters of the alphabet?
A,B,C you in hell
Bick: Jesus isn't real. Ron: Yes he is. Bick: Prove it, bitch. Ron: Cussing is a in. Open the curtains. Bick: Wh- Ron: JUST DO IT, DAMMIT.
The sunlight shone through the window, landing on Ron and Bick. Both of them died and went to hell.
Ron: Fuck you, Jesus. Bick: Told you Jesus was real. Satan: Get to work, slaves.
Moral of the story: Stay off the marijuana.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant so i went in there with a bomb...but the bomb got diffused and did not work . I asked a person standing nearby i said. "" hey do you know how to fix this bomb so i can blow up this place? "" He gave me a book. It was the quran I said what the hell is that..! He said, " this is the official manual for bomb making."
