Height jokes

lmao why do people think they can fly?

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

The north and south towers got into an argument.

The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

You're shorter than a thumbtack, like, boy, your auntie is probably taller than you.

1, 2 you built like a dork.

3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.

Why did I trip over your foot?

Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!

What do you call a tall terrorist?

Osama Bin Laden.

Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.

Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.

In reality, I like killing myself.

Why did the dwarf laugh when he walked on the field?

The grass was tickling his balls.

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

What do you call a tall terrorist? Labomb James.

I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.

You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.

Man: How tall is a penguin?

Bartender: About three foot, why?

Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!

Poor car.

What do you call angry midgets?

Short-tempered.

An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.

I would make a joke about short people, but they probably couldn't hear it.

You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.