Height jokes
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
Why did the dwarf laugh when he walked on the field?
The grass was tickling his balls.
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
What do you call a tall terrorist? Labomb James.
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
What do you call angry midgets?
Short-tempered.
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
I would make a joke about short people, but they probably couldn't hear it.
You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.
Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.
Kid: Please.
Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.
Kid: Everybody is hugging.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
You’ve really gotta hand it to short people because they usually can’t reach it anyway.
If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀
What do you call a dark, average height Punjabi male?
Josiah.
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
Yo mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work!
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
Q: How tall was Hitler's grass? A: *Hitler salute* about this high!