Height jokes
You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
What do you call angry midgets?
Short-tempered.
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
I would make a joke about short people, but they probably couldn't hear it.
You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.
Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.
Kid: Please.
Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.
Kid: Everybody is hugging.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
You’ve really gotta hand it to short people because they usually can’t reach it anyway.
If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀
What do you call a dark, average height Punjabi male?
Josiah.
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
Yo mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work!
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
Q: How tall was Hitler's grass? A: *Hitler salute* about this high!
A leaf and an emo fell off a cliff, who landed first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo.
What did the janitor think when he was mopping the 101st floor?
The 102nd.
We used to be the tallest buildings in New York...
Then we took an Arab to the knee.
I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.
Why do midgets run on balls?
Because the grass tickles them.