How is the weather down there?
Why am I still alive?
Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...
"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.
I know a good airplane joke, but it would probably go over your heads.
The twin towers: No, it won't.
Why don't dwarfs have cars?
Because they can't get in the door.
Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.
I could never date a midget.
We would never see eye to eye.
I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.
My sister is so short she can't walk.
POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"
What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?
Very little.
Why can't dwarfs be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.
My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.
Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.
If a midget does meth does he get high or get medium
Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.
My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."
