Height jokes

Why do midgets run on balls?

Because the grass tickles them.

How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three, because it’s the normal person's height.

Gently throw a baby off a ten story building!

Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.

Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?

You're so tall that you are a measuring tape.

My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.

So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"

Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

Why did the midget laugh when he ran? Because the grass tickles his balls.

My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.

Like if you're short.

All my 9/11 jokes seem to fly too low.

Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"

Kid: "A leopard."

Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."

Kid: "Broooooooooooo."

Why do midgets laugh while they run?

The grass tickles their balls.

You may not like me, but you still look up to me.

What’s the best thing about midgets??

They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.

If you drop something, make your short friend get it.

You're so short, Aiden looked tall.

What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?

A JUMBO shrimp.