Height jokes

Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

Why did the midget laugh when he ran? Because the grass tickles his balls.

My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.

Like if you're short.

All my 9/11 jokes seem to fly too low.

Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"

Kid: "A leopard."

Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."

Kid: "Broooooooooooo."

Why do midgets laugh while they run?

The grass tickles their balls.

You may not like me, but you still look up to me.

What’s the best thing about midgets??

They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.

If you drop something, make your short friend get it.

You're so short, Aiden looked tall.

What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?

A JUMBO shrimp.

Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?

When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.

A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”

The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”

The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”

You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.

People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.

If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?