Height jokes
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
You're so tall that you are a measuring tape.
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
Why did the midget laugh when he ran? Because the grass tickles his balls.
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
Like if you're short.
All my 9/11 jokes seem to fly too low.
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"
Kid: "A leopard."
Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."
Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
Why do midgets laugh while they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
You may not like me, but you still look up to me.
What’s the best thing about midgets??
They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.
If you drop something, make your short friend get it.
You're so short, Aiden looked tall.
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”