Health jokes
What’s the best part about stage four cancer?
There’s no stage five.
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
Memes
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut.
Q. What do you call a person with Alzheimer's?
It doesn't matter. They'll forget what you said in thirty seconds anyway.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie.
It’s called Finding Chemo.
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
Yo mama's so stupid, she took a Covid test and got an F.