Health jokes
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
Memes
Why have I not seen these posters in my neighbourhood?
I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie.
It’s called Finding Chemo.
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
Yo mama's so stupid, she took a Covid test and got an F.
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”
And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.
What's the best way to remove gum from hair?
Cancer.