Health jokes
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut.
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
Yo mama's so stupid, she took a Covid test and got an F.
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
What’s the best part about stage four cancer?
There’s no stage five.
Q. What do you call a person with Alzheimer's?
It doesn't matter. They'll forget what you said in thirty seconds anyway.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie.
It’s called Finding Chemo.