Health jokes
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut.
Yo mama's so stupid, she took a Covid test and got an F.
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
Memes
i cough this morning
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
Q. What do you call a person with Alzheimer's?
It doesn't matter. They'll forget what you said in thirty seconds anyway.
What’s the best part about stage four cancer?
There’s no stage five.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie.
It’s called Finding Chemo.
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.