Health jokes
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie.
It’s called Finding Chemo.
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
Memes
Why have I not seen these posters in my neighbourhood?
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
Yo mama's so stupid, she took a Covid test and got an F.
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
How do you flatten curves?
With an abortion.
What's the best way to remove gum from hair?
Cancer.
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!