I finally know why my brain doesn't work!
On the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
What's the best way to remove gum from hair?
Cancer.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood off her sonâs cock!
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
Book on Michael Jackson: Issued black; returned white.
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus.
All zodiac signs have their hairstyles. Except cancer.
Whatâs the most expensive haircut?
Chemotherapy.
Are you corona? Cuz itâs hard to breathe around you ;)
My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.
Now we wait...
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
Dark humor is like cancer; it's funnier when kids get it.
One day a man was fixing a car, and he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "Hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like, "Dude, this can't be healthy." But he said, "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."
What game hurts you the more stages you survive?
Cancer.
An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.
So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.
