Health jokes
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie.
It’s called Finding Chemo.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
Memes
Why have I not seen these posters in my neighbourhood?
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
Yo mama's so stupid, she took a Covid test and got an F.
What’s the best part about stage four cancer?
There’s no stage five.
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.
What's the best way to remove gum from hair?
Cancer.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.