A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterward, he's sitting in the doctor's office, and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "Well, at least I don't have cancer."
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
My syndrome may be down but my hopes are up !
Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking Fanta make you fantastic?
Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.
Son:Mom, I did the test and I have cancer!
Mom:YOU HAVE CANCER?!
Son:Mom, as my zodiac symbol...
Mom:....
there was a guy how had a stroke eh. hes all right.
A woman comes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think I have cancer." The doctor checks it out. "It’s all in your head," the doctor says. "Phew," said the woman. "A bunch of tumors, all in your head."
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person." said the other.
Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick!
Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.
Me: Mom i think i need to go to the hospital ......Mom: OMG Why son ......Me: Idk whats wrong but everytime i close my eyes i can see
.....Think about it then spread LMAO
Se we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of "do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She herd this question to the point were she just says yes without hesitation. Once she had said yes, two kids int he back started laughing. Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you? Kid: Oh were not laughing at that. Kid_2: Were laughing at cancer.
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
the reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live - the doctor replied tu-more
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”
She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
