Health jokes
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
Only if Africa have enough mosquito nets, the mosquitos will not die of AIDS.
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.
Yo mama so stupid, she studied for the COVID test.
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.
The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
Imagine there’s a funny joke here. Imagine it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you’re schizophrenic.
If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr*.
On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*
Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.
I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking.
But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?
Yo mama so dumb, when the doctor told her she had coronavirus, she bought a new laptop.
A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."
The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"
The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."
I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it's poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?
Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!