Health

Health jokes

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"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"

"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."

Why do some couples go to the gym together?

Because they want their relationship to work out.

What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics?

Walking.

Why was the leper hockey game canceled?

It was because of a face-off in the corner.

Why are there no fat people in Japan?

Last time they had a "Fat Man," 80,000 people died.

How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?

Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.

What’s the difference between a fetus and a jar of pickles?

The pickles aren’t as tasty in a jar.

What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw in your dirty laundry!

I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.

A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."

The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"

Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.

Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:

1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps

You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?

Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."