Health jokes
The doctor told me I was so retarded, I was required to ride two wheelchairs.
I was talking to my Welsh friend the other day, and he suddenly started talking Welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke.
Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are always up.
Cancer cancer cancer cancer. (joke speaks for itself)
If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.
Once upon a time lived a fat ass named Steve and got rabies and died. The end!
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
One day in my class, we were having that good snack, and one of my classmates choked on a Cheerio. One small, single, Cheerio!
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What's the difference between Cain Dashiell and Down syndrome?
Nothing.
Old man goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."
The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"
Why do people shake cigarette boxes?
To wake up the cancer.
There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!
Why can't the blind man see? Because he can't see.