Health jokes
A man wakes up in the hospital and says, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
"Of course," the doctor says. "I amputated your arms."
Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...
Every zodiac sign has a different hairstyle except Cancer.
My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."
Have you heard about kids with AIDS?
It never gets old.
I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD, and it diagnosed me with slavery.
Why do pedos hate corona? Because they have to stay two meters away from children. 😈
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
Gina: Maryen? Karlya? Amber? Kristie? Why isn't it listed that she's here?
Zari: Your sister isn't listed in the meantime, just relax.
Gina: That still doesn't answer why she's not listed. I want her to see me!
Zari: Anyway, it will be time for your medications, we have the gixen and the Uiasends.
Gina: Do you know my sister's name?
Zari: Yes. Her name is Jalien.
Gina: Fine, I don't care!!!
Why did the stick fall?
Because he is a stick man.
My grandpa died to ligma.
Ligma balls lol.
What is the hardest thing to eat on a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
"I know, you have a lot on your plate right now."
What did the doctor say to the Chinese patient? "Sum ting wong."
I eat cockroaches.
Yo mama so fat, she can't pick up a dumbbell... the dumbbell pick her up.
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon-aid.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.
I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?