Hair jokes
I gave a blind kid a gun, telling him it was a hair drier.
A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮
B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛
The lice in your head are starting to concern over deforestation.
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What animal should wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!
So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
My hair strainer is hotter than you.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head 'n Shoulders.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.