Hair jokes
I gave a blind kid a gun, telling him it was a hair drier.
The lice in your head are starting to concern over deforestation.
A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮
B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!
Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What animal should wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
My crush: "I cut 4 inches off my hair yesterday." Me: "So?" My crush: "4 inches is a lot!" Me: "Oh yeah?"
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head 'n Shoulders.
My hair strainer is hotter than you.
When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.