Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮
B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
The lice in your head are starting to concern over deforestation.
Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What animal should wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!
So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
My hair strainer is hotter than you.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head 'n Shoulders.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.
My crush: "I cut 4 inches off my hair yesterday." Me: "So?" My crush: "4 inches is a lot!" Me: "Oh yeah?"
