Hair jokes

If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

A long-haired child once took a bite of Chuck Norris's brain. He later became known as Albert Einstein.

Why did Mrs. Henderson get a divorce from her husband, Harry?

She was tired of everyone calling the family "Hairy" and the Hendersons.

I went to the National Redhead Meeting yesterday.

Not a soul in sight.

What do you call an emo with curly hair?

Sam Reid.

How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?

A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).

There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.

On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."

So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.

pp hi

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair, she looks 15.

Me: Why do you need to use shampoo when you are already bald? 🤣

My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.

What kind of poo should you put in your hair?

Shampoo.

Yo mama so hairy, her knuckles have sideburns.

You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?

You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.

LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?

Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?

Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!

A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."

Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."

Yo mama so hairy that when she go to the hair salon they say, "No pets allowed."

How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?

Gingervitus.

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?

They both try to get there before the hair does.

What are the first four letters of the alphabet?

Mum: (noticing the child's hair is too long) "You need a haircut."

Brother: (winning a game on PlayStation) "Yes! Get in!"

Uncle: (making plans) "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."

Aunt: (singing a song from the show after overhearing the conversation) "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."

Next day...

Student: I know the alphabet.

Teacher: OK, go on.

Student: "You need a haircut."

Teacher: How dare you make comments like this! Do you want to go to the headteacher?

Student: "Yes! Get in!"

Teacher: What do you think you're going to be doing?

Student: "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."

*In headteacher's office*

Headteacher: Now, I hear you were very rude to the literacy teacher earlier. What do you have to say for yourself?

Student: "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."