Hair jokes
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
Yo mama's hairline got so many peaks and valleys, you thought you were looking at the Grand Canyon.
When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.
Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.
Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
What zodiac sign has no hair?
Cancer.
What do you call an Indian with pink hair?
Ghandi floss.
What's long and not very hairy?
The conga line at the cancer department.