Hair jokes
What are the first four letters of the alphabet?
Mum: (noticing the child's hair is too long) "You need a haircut."
Brother: (winning a game on PlayStation) "Yes! Get in!"
Uncle: (making plans) "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."
Aunt: (singing a song from the show after overhearing the conversation) "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."
Next day...
Student: I know the alphabet.
Teacher: OK, go on.
Student: "You need a haircut."
Teacher: How dare you make comments like this! Do you want to go to the headteacher?
Student: "Yes! Get in!"
Teacher: What do you think you're going to be doing?
Student: "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."
*In headteacher's office*
Headteacher: Now, I hear you were very rude to the literacy teacher earlier. What do you have to say for yourself?
Student: "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."
Three girls were lined up for execution. The black-haired one, being the smart one, turned around and yelled, "Tornado!"
Everyone panicked, and she escaped. The red-headed one, following her example, shouted as the executioners got back, "Hurricane!"
The red-headed friend escaped too. Now, it was the blonde's turn. Following both her friends, she turned to the executioners and yelled:
"Fire!"
I love your hair today.
How did you get it to come out your nose like that?
A long-haired child once took a bite of Chuck Norris's brain. He later became known as Albert Einstein.
In geometry class, the teacher went up to the board and drew a 23-degree angle.
She then drew a 67-degree angle. The class was astonished when the angles started talking! The first one said, "That's a lovely blouse you're wearing," and the second one chimed in, "And I love what you've done with your hair."
The students asked the teacher if she knew what was going on. She sighed and said, "Well, these angles are supposed to be complementary, but I guess they don't know how to spell."
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
Your hairline go so far back it remember the Civil War, ugly ahh.
your hair line goes so far the dinosaurs will see it
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
Yo Momma so hairy, she has to shampoo her armpits.
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
Why was the bee’s hair sticky?
He used honeycomb.
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?
A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.