HA jokes

Why can’t orphans have phones?

Because it has a home button.

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.

Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.

Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.

What’s the difference between apples and orphans?

One of them has a family tree.

What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?

Attention, everyone: I will be leaving this website. Thank you everybody who has been nice to me. Maybe I’ll come back in the future, but for now: Goodbye.

Why did the sun not go to college? Because it already has a million degrees!

Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?

What's green and has a thousand nipples?

A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.

My "friend" has dyslexia.

Son: Dad, I need a new butt.

Dad: Why, son?

Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.

What's a rock band that has four men that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore.

What is the difference between the human and a tree and a house that has to walk home and walk walk home from school? Was your name in your house? I did not have any good time for dinner today, but I did have a good night's sleep.

What kind of bear has no teeth?

A gummy bear.

Your mom has a bone to pick with me.

What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?

"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"

What do you call a cow that has stuff growing on it?

Mosscow

What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?

A baby you cut one off each time.

"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."

"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.

Kat, what? I did. A cat jump over the road because he believes he came flying in the clouds. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah! So funniest kitten kitten kitten kidding is my last time of Do you Joooooooooooooooooooooookin?