Condoms? HA! Those are for pussies!
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! Thats not going to help!” She said. “Sure it does.” he said. “Its the only way i can see the numbers.”
I finally got my wife to shut up.Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years ha! try telling me to get my feet off the couch now karen!
Jace: ha ha i won dude you suck at monopoly Timmy:Let’s play another game GUNSHOT Ig i won! Jace:SCREAMS IN PAIN Timmy: What? I thought we were playing chutes and ladders!
knock knock who’s there banana banana who knock knock who’s there banana banana who knock knock who’s there orange orange who orange you glad i did not say banana ha ha
“TINY HANDS, EVEN TINIER BRAIN”
(live comedy club) Foul Mouthed Trump Hating Comic :
…“Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump, what the f... up with that dude, man ? Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!” (< leap week, muthafukas !) . . . “I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that’s synonymous for being f...ed up, for instance”…
STUMP : TEENY DICK
BUMP : TINY TIT
GUMP : DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY
MUMP : A F...ED UP CHILDREN’S DISEASE
LUMP : IF IT’S MALIGNANT, YOU’RE KINDA F...ED
UMP : OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS
RUMP : AN ASS
DUMP : A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS
HUMP : SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD
PUMP : SEE “HUMP”
. . . and last, but definitely not least –
JUMP : JUMP INTO A DEEP HOLE MOTHER F...ER, AND GO TO HELL !!
… “Well that’s about it for me as my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a turn for the worse !! …(splort!, plop!)… OOOOPS !! … sniff,sniff … Ewww !” (audience roars) “Fuhhhhk !.. I better go, 'cause I just went !! … Ha! ha! ha!”
…“Thank You Lazies and Gerbilmen ! Good Night !!” …
(endless laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants pee-ing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin’, guns poppin’)
“OH LORDY !!.. HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH, AND ARMAGETTIN’ THE F... OUTTA HEEE!!”
(quick curtain call, and off to waiting taxi……….with the windows down) …Amen.
You I didn’t see you there the pizza place is hunted bad so you are scared 😱😱😱😱 and so you run and you see your grandma and you were happy again forever and ever ha ha so funny 😁 The end or is it bye-bye
what do you get when you mix an apple with water… applesauce wait do not leave yet if you are still reading this you have been rekt ha ha at least im still laughing.