Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
HA Jokes
Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
Jeffy: I need a new butt. My old one has a crack in it.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.
Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?
Panera Sed!
What's the only time a Pentagon has four sides? When a plane intercepts into it.
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.
What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?
At least Daniel has a mom.
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
Yo mama so fat, she has to bathe in the Pacific Ocean.
According to scientists, there has been a discovery of water on Mars.
Mars-1
Africa-0
Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?
No, well neither has he.
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.
Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Ha ha! Get rickrolled!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple...
An apple has a family tree.
Your dad has a huge PP.
Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!
