HA jokes

Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?

In case he gets a hole in one.

The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.

What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?

"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."

What’s the difference between apples and orphans?

One of them has a family tree.

What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?

What's green and has a thousand nipples?

A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.

My "friend" has dyslexia.

Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?

Why did the sun not go to college? Because it already has a million degrees!

Son: Dad, I need a new butt.

Dad: Why, son?

Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.

Attention, everyone: I will be leaving this website. Thank you everybody who has been nice to me. Maybe I’ll come back in the future, but for now: Goodbye.

What's a rock band that has four men that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore.

Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?

Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.

Why can’t orphans have phones?

Because it has a home button.

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.

Why can’t you private text someone in a community?

Because a community has more than two people.

"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."

Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.

What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?

"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"

Yo momma is so ugly, Slenderman runs from her.

It's also why he has no eyes.