Guy jokes

A guy walks into a zoo, but it only has one dog.

It's a shitzu.

One day, a chicken went to the nail store. He asked the "owner" where the shampoo was. "BRO IM NOT THE FRIKKIN MANAGER!" the guy said. So the duck walked away.

The next day he went back to the store and asked a pregnant lady why she was so fat. The lady punched him and ran away. The duck cried. Then he went to the lady's husband and said that he must be tired of being married since she punches people every day. The man punched him. The duck assumed they were the punching couple. The duck walked, and then fell in a ditch and stayed there to die. The pregnant lady and her husband were very pleased >:) muhahahahahahaha

Damn, the guy who made the "Whip/Nae Nae" song really made his cousin go Silento.

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

Geowipp Grand Prize. And the CHOICE OF FOOD IS INSANE. We love him and we love him.

August is a guy from one of the shops, and we became a sundwich durk through Habin. We have GOT GO GO, IT WAS GRAT. That's why. But we don't do everything.

A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"

He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"

Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.

You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.

A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?

Because he is in a prison cell.

Jeff crosses the US border.

The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.

Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."

Hey guys, it's cake time!

She really sucks, and the guy who is with her sucks too.

How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?

None. They hire me to do it.

Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!

"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"

I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!

Can you guys comment on my nuts jokes (aka Willma, Bofa, and Savor)? I just want to see if people don't think it's funny.

A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"

The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"

The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."

A blind guy shot up a town.

I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.

How do gay guys finish prayer?

“GAYMEN!”

What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?

An “Astronut”!

Did you hear about the guy that dipped his balls in glitter?

Pretty nuts, huh?

What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?

Panera Fred.