Guy jokes
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔
Guy and Girl are in the shower talking to each other.
Guy: Let's drop the soap.
Girl: Let's do it!
Why the fuck is this guy calling me a crying bitch?
My guy: I have a Q-Tip.
Me: You can Q my tip.
My guy: Ayo!
Guy with no arms: Even if I don’t have arms, I can do everything you can do.
🎵if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands🎵
Hey guys! Just a reminder that the guy below me is a crying bitch! Have a good day!
Some guy: making a sandwich.
Me: *rages* to put the ham in!
Leaving for Disneyland! See you guys on Tuesday!
Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!
"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."
Love y'all so much!
Why is Bill the bad guy?
Monica wanted to suck dick.
Guy on Fortnite: "Ima sleep with your mom lmao."
Orphan: Starts crying.
Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.
First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”
Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”
I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"
Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?
My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
These two guys were texting each other.
Guy 1: How are you?
Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*
Guy 1: ???
Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.