Guy

Guy jokes

Roast

Guy: Are you tired?

His “Crush”: No.

Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?

His “Crush”: That’s sweet.

Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.

Paint

Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?

My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”

Punchline

Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.

First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”

Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”

Pill

A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"

Spring

These two guys were texting each other.

Guy 1: How are you?

Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*

Guy 1: ???

Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)

Cereal

You guys know BeReal?

BeReal? More like cereal.

Get it? BeReal = cereal.

Comment

Hello guys. It's me, Donald fuckin' Trump. Ask me anything in the comments, guys.

Key

A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.

Poker

A guy walks up to a girl. He says, "Hey, you want a poker? I’ve got one."

Dude

Random guy: Do you know Dee?

Other dude: Who’s Dee?

Random guy: Dee Snuts!

Pickle

Guy: Do you want a nickel?

Girl: Sure.

Guy: So you’ll tickle my pickle?

Girl: 😳😩😩😩

Name

Okay, I'm on my last nerve when people say "Water Shark Guy" and other things THAT ARE NOT MY NAME.

This is my name: watersharky!