Government jokes
Communism is actually kinda tight.
President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!
Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅
In America, you find Waldo.
In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds you.
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
Donald Trump being president is the biggest joke.
Donald Trump is getting all the perks of 2020. He got COVID and lost his job.
Gun control...
Joe Biden
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
Like if you're voting Trump 2024! WOOOOO!
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in England’s history.
The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
What do orphans need in order to mail letters?
Food stamps.