Government jokes
What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?
Yessssss, MEaster!
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?
I hear it hurt like hell.
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
Why are Americans so bad at chess? Because they already lost two towers.
Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.
What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?
Answer: Hair Force One!
What does NASA mean? No Apes Submit Astronauts.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.
No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.
$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.
50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.
No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.
Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.
New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.
Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.
Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
You know why Ted Cruz left Texas?
Because they never take a chill pill.
Like if you're voting Trump 2024! WOOOOO!
What is the capital of Greece? -- About 10 dollars.
An alien goes to Area 51, but I wonder why he doesn't go to your house?
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?
Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔
Okay, the joke's over. Bring back Trump!
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.