Government jokes
Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!
Donald Trump being president is the biggest joke.
Memes
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.
Donald Trump is getting all the perks of 2020. He got COVID and lost his job.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.
Gun control...
Joe Biden
In America, you find Waldo.
In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds you.
Like if you're voting Trump 2024! WOOOOO!
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.
Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in England’s history.
The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.
I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!
What do orphans need in order to mail letters?
Food stamps.
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.