Government jokes
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.
Biden is a joke. Trump is AMAZINGLY AWESOME!
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.
Roses are red.
Your passports are blue.
Now go stand over there,
In that very long queue!
Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
Why did the black lady give the IRS a mason jar full of watermelon seeds?
Tax credit.
Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.