Government jokes

Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.

I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!

What do orphans need in order to mail letters?

Food stamps.

Three Nazis walk into a bar.

If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...

Biden is a joke. Trump is AMAZINGLY AWESOME!

Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.

"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."

"Oh, cool."

"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."

"Makes sense."

"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."

"Where's Trump's clock?"

"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."

And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.

When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.

Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.

With their brother.

Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."

To anger a Libertarian lie to him, to anger a Democrat tell him the truth, to anger a Republican sodomize him.

What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?

"Smell ya later!"

Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?

'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.

Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.

What is similar between Hitler and Trump?

They both want to keep races out.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.

Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.

I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣

Roses are red.

Your passports are blue.

Now go stand over there,

In that very long queue!

Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.