Government jokes
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.
Memes
Biden is a joke. Trump is AMAZINGLY AWESOME!
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.
With their brother.
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?
Because it was over 18 years old.
To anger a Libertarian lie to him, to anger a Democrat tell him the truth, to anger a Republican sodomize him.
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.
What is similar between Hitler and Trump?
They both want to keep races out.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.