Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
He only won the election because of rigging.
82 million votes my ass.
Ask me for proof.
"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."
- Joe Biden. (A.K.A. Pedo Peter.)
What's Trump's favorite instrument?
A TRUMPet!!!
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."
Somebody told me to go to hell, so I walked up to Donald Trump.
Who are voting for this election? I'm voting for Tricity, so vote for Tricity. Electricity!
Who is the gorilla's favorite president of the most recent years? It's Hairy Truman.
A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.
B: Package from Te-?
A: BOOM!
It's past April Fool's Day, and we still have a joke as president.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head just because his wife Said he was close minded
Why doesn't the U.S. Government play Clash of Clans?
Because they lost two towers already.
Your hairline was so fat that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.
If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?
Therianarchy!
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
"Welcome to the gulag."
What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?
Not my problem.
Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
