Government jokes
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.
Biden is a joke. Trump is AMAZINGLY AWESOME!
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?
Because it was over 18 years old.
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
To anger a Libertarian lie to him, to anger a Democrat tell him the truth, to anger a Republican sodomize him.
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.
Roses are red.
Your passports are blue.
Now go stand over there,
In that very long queue!
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.