Government jokes
What do orphans need in order to mail letters?
Food stamps.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.
*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...
Biden is a joke. Trump is AMAZINGLY AWESOME!
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.
With their brother.
Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?
Because it was over 18 years old.
To anger a Libertarian lie to him, to anger a Democrat tell him the truth, to anger a Republican sodomize him.
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
Roses are red.
Your passports are blue.
Now go stand over there,
In that very long queue!
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.
Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.