Government jokes
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
What do the initials CIA stand for?
Central Intelligence of A**holes.
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
What is the chair's favorite person?
A sit-izen.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."
What is a yellow dog Libertarian?
A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.