Government jokes
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
What do the initials CIA stand for?
Central Intelligence of A**holes.
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and a book?
A book has papers.
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
I am your leader.
What is the chair's favorite person?
A sit-izen.
Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.
I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.
What is a yellow dog Libertarian?
A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!
Communism is actually kinda tight.
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!