President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.
Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."
Roses are red, potato chips are savory...
The United States prison system is legalized slavery.
Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?
Because it was over 18 years old.
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
Politics.
The last two presidents of the US.
I am your leader.
How can one make Death Row a little more fun?
Musical electric chairs.
Communism is actually kinda tight.
Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.
There’s no hope.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
