Government

Government jokes

Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?

The class divides.

If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.

When a rocketship went into space, seven astronauts went into space. That's why it's called NASA.

We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.

President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!

Man: We have the power of the sun itself!

President: Drop it on them!

Man: You push the button.

President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.

Man: Hands over button

President: Pushes it

Both: YAAA!

President: Bumps into the button pressing it again

Both: Oh, sh*t!

Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off

Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again

What's the difference between a used condom and the UCP?

The condom was actually useful at one point.

What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.

"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"

What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.

Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!