Record

Record Jokes

My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records. He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me. 
A stone’s throw away, in fact.

My penis was in the Guinness book of world records. -- Then the librarian told me to take it out.

What’s 12 inches and is moist inside? My record holding cucumbers locally grown at my farm

The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.

Did you know there was a record for quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds