Why did the orphan go to church?
Because they need a father.
Go Jokes
Why did the slave go to college?
To get his master's degree.
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
What website should you go to to look up LSD dealers?
TripAdvisor.com
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
I'm actually against abortion.
Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!
When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
When you are going back to where you live from a place that is a time zone behind where you live:
"Looks like I am going back to the future!"
Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"
Orphan: "My family never came back for me."
School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."
