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Go jokes

Astronaut

    • An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.

    He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.

    Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.

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    • Babysitter

    • Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.

    I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.

    When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.

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    • Depression

    • Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.

    Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.

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    • Go memes

    Sex

    • Son said to father, "Last night was the best you and Mom..."

    Father said, "Yeah, me, you, and your mother had sex."

    Son said, "It was fun licking her pussy."

    Father said, "I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did. Did it feel good?"

    Son said, "Yes, it was. Wanna do it again tomorrow?"

    Father said, "YES BUT without your mom, we'll suck each other's dick and lick it and bite and shove each other's dick next to each other."

    Son said, "Yeah, and if we do it again, let's have Mom and my girlfriend join next time."

    Father said, "Ok, it's time to go to bed, son."

    Son said, "Ok, love you, can you and Mom sleep with me without your clothes?"

    Father said, "Ok, but you have to promise to go to bed."

    Son said, "Ok, see you there." 💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦

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    • Dog

    • If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.

    They're trained for that.

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    • Little Johnny

    • Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"

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    • Tree

    • My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

    So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

    I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

    My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.