Go jokes

A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.

The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."

The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."

The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."

The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.

Where do Down syndrome kids go shopping downtown?

I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

Where do sick boats go? The dock!

I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.

My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.

The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"

Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.

A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.

The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."

It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.

Why?

Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."

What website should you go to to look up LSD dealers?

TripAdvisor.com

There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.

Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.

Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.

A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."

The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"

I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"

What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?

KMS.

I'm actually against abortion.

Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!