Go jokes
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:
"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"
Memes
Why did the orphan go to church?
Because they need a father.
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
What website should you go to to look up LSD dealers?
TripAdvisor.com
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
I'm actually against abortion.
Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!
When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.
Why?
Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."