The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon)-Don't go bacon my heart (Egg)-I couldn't if I fried
Why can't sally swing? Because she has no arms Knock knock, "who's there?", not sally
*new* Where did sally go when the bombs dropped? Everywhere
Where do pedophiles go hunting .... Elementary schools
Why didnt the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?
Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father
If your going shopping at school what color would Iike to smell : True or False
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere
Puns: I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th. They're going to have an explosive party, that will definitely blow you away. It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast too!
Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and can't use my phone in class? cows go moo
A plane is going to crash there are four passengers and only three parachutes. all the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first he says, my fans need me and jumps, Donald trump takes another and says I am the smartest president, jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute. The boy replies don't worry - Donald took my backpack.
I love ❤️ taking my daughter out in the car 🚙 every time we go over a speed bump I tell her we ran over another dog 🐕😂
Why did the guitarist go to prison? Cause he fingered A minor
Where did the cow go on his first date, to the moovies
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly she did drugs. So one day I go up to her and say “Mari-juana do this????” She later asked me to leave forever..... I don’t gnome why but... it CRACKed me up abit!!!
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Taco Bell going out of business
like if u hate going to school
Sister: (moaning) go get mom, she'd love this Me: but Billy's with her right now Billy: UGHHHH...MMMMM Dad: hurry up Billy, I want to see you for a moment..
suicide is a murder and my body should go to jail
