Go jokes

It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.

Why?

Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."

Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.

All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.

"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"

"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."

When you are going back to where you live from a place that is a time zone behind where you live:

"Looks like I am going back to the future!"

Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.

What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?

My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.

School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"

Orphan: "My family never came back for me."

School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."

My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.

"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."

"What's been going on, John?" I asked.

"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.

The dirty bastard!

My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"

I told him, "Probably a bullet."

A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.

Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!

1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.

How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?

Tie the bungee cord around his neck.

I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.

How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?

If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.

What do you call an autistic person? Names.

I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.

So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.

1 hour before:

So let me get...

Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!

Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*