Go jokes
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.
What website should you go to to look up LSD dealers?
TripAdvisor.com
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?
"I finished my job."
What about me?
in can re;ate to this its always going through my mind
I'm actually against abortion.
Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!
Why did the orphan go to church?
Because they need a father.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
Dad: What did you learn in school today?
Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.
Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.
The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."
Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
SPOILER ALERT...
I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."