Go jokes

Guys, this is so disrespectful, I love Jesus. I go to church every Tuesday morning to give Jesus a... giffffffft.

So disrespectful guys. #jesusismyhubby

At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.

Last last, now everybody go chop breakfast.

"I’m going through a lot of things right now," I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.

Pastor: I don’t normally swear, but tonight I am going to, just for the halibut!

Why can't you go home tonight? Because you haven't got a home, it's moved.

What what's the cloud private place to go? Among us, cows.

"Prince???? Where are you??? I might have to go to bed for real, but I just wish we could talk at night. Why don't we anyway? (I love you so much!)"

Be careful, because I heard that NASA is going to send a rover to Uranus.

Kenya text: Guys, leave Gwen alone! Pls! It is not her fault...btw STOP AND GO TO ATHORE JOKES

What do you call a bus going backwards? A sub.

I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:

"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."

....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.

RIP Meh Soul.

Why do Lebanese go to school? Tabouli!

What's the difference between Batman and Robin?

Batman can go to the store without robbin'.

If you're ever bored, jump on Vedanta, what is he going to do, tell his parents? (He probably will.)

I'm sorry for your loss.

It is going tibia okay.

Why did the chicken go to the mall?

To get new feathers!

If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?

There are three states you don't mess with when trying to take over the United States:

Alaska because they have three times more guns than people because of the bears.

Texas because, well, it's Texas. Where else have all of the guns been going?

Lastly, Florida. Florida is the absolute definition of Trigger Happy Redneck.

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that her 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "That's my dad outside." Man: "How much did you say the baseball was again?" Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball glove." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad." Man: "How much did you say the glove was again?" Boy: "$750." Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!" The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says, "$1,000." The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Do not start that shit again!"