Go jokes

Where did my rabbit go?

*crunch*

What do Michael Jackson and ACN have in common? They both go in little kids.

How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He read the weather forecast, you fucking idiot!

Why did the kid go in the guy's van?

Answer: He thought he was being adopted.

Have you ever said no? Did they keep going?

Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."

Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.

Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.

Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.

After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”

The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”

Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”

I was going to make a 9/11 joke, but I'm afraid it will crash and burn.

Where do you go when food dies?

A fooderal.

Does that neverending forehead of yours go all the way to Mars, holy fucking shit?

I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"

Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."

Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?

Alps clear the mind! Haha.

Your forehead and hairline are like friends; they go way back.

(DOORS)

What door is the first door that opens for you?

The elevator to go to the game.

Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

Why didn't the child go to school?

Because he died of a heroin overdose.

If Leo were any slower, she’d be going BACKWARD.

SLADE is proof that mental aging can go in REVERSE.