Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
Go Jokes
I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To improve his FLOW-CABULARY!
Why did the rapper go to the seafood restaurant?
Because he heard they had PHAT BASS.
Why did Daveon go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling "Daveon" in the dumps.
A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?
The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.
The gay couple was still packing their shit.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.
Bro, go work at McDonald's. Your hairline inspired their logo!
I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
