god sent to the principles office for giving a blind kid sun glasses and said dont let the sun damage your eyes.
what did cinderella where to the beach
glass flipers
What is it about a beard and glasses, that children find so sexy?
Why does Hitler need glasses?
Because he could Nazi
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows
Why did the house go to the doctor?
Because it had a window pane.
What does an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
what's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler? The thing is I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall
my math teacher walked by and asked me what is that? I siad paper. she siad really? yeah do you need glasses?
GOTTVERDAMMT HANS I SAID “GLASS OF JUICE” NOT “GAS ZE JEWS”
Uma thurmans optometrist must have wide glasses sometimes
I think i would like a job cleaning mirrors, it's just something I could really see myself doing.
DUDE all Hitler ask for was a glass of juice, but every one misheard him.
Mirrors can’t talk, it’s sad that it can’t laugh at you!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the chicken had 4 chicks and a cheating hen who all sucked out all his money he got from his extremely boring job, and he finally got some peace for himself and was going to the local bar, which was on the other side of the road. He walked in the door, wings sagging, feathers catching on his claws. The bartender eyes him as he sits on a bar stool. "Chuck, how ya doin'? The missus doin' good?" "Just give me the hardest stuff you got. I'm done." This caught the bartender by surprise. "Chuck, come on, don't be sayin' that. Just look to the future and you'll be fine." "What future?" Chuck replied in a huff. "My wife and chicks are so goddamn pestering sometimes, you know? But if I leave, they'll all suffer, and I don't want that either. Oh, God, Phil, I don't know what to do." "You know, you've got a good heart for a rooster your age," Phil answered. "We need that in these parts. I'm tellin' ya, there will be more than what's happenin' right now, ya know, life's got all its gears turning for ya, and there's just a bit slow right now. The gears haven't been oiled in a while, but who's the only one who can fix that?" Chuck knew the answer. "Me." Phil returned with his drink. "McClucken's Whiskey, on the house." Chuck glanced at his glass. He held it up to the light. His face reflected in an aura around it, neither looking forward to the light and not backward, either. "No thanks, Phil," Chuck sighed, "But thanks anyways." He went to get up out of his chair. Phil called as he walked out the door, "Just remember to oil the gears every now and then, eh?" Chuck's comb flapped in a cool breeze brought in by the season. A bench was nearby, staring across to the other side. And he just sat there, sat there thinking. Cars blurred to a colorfully colorless nothingness as he thought in silence. He could see an open window in his mind, full of chickens: a sassy hen, two identical sportish chick; another, older than the two, and body bristling with blue comb-dye and the latest thing he watched online fresh on his Chickstagram page; finally, the first of the bunch, shy, bookish, with a secretly courageous soul. They all looked... worried, worried for the rooster who guided them, helped them grow, supported them... and all looking out of the window back at him. A single tear welled in Chuck's eye. The chicken walked back across the road to his family, to his friends, and to the life he was content with.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs? ....... A boner..
What is red bubbling and scratching at a window, A baby in the microwave.