Glass Jokes

The Wine Taster At An Old Vineyard Died. A Homeless Guy, Looking Ragged And Dirty, Came To Apply. He Persuaded The Manager To Give Him A Try. The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. "Impressive," said the manager.

The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in a steel vats.”

The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said. "It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!"

I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk

Q: Have you ever felt a window? A: Did you feel the pane?

god sent to the principles office for giving a blind kid sun glasses and said dont let the sun damage your eyes.

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation

What is it about a beard and glasses, that children find so sexy?

I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.

Why does Hitler need glasses?

Because he could Nazi

Me walking in to the office: Principle: tell me what u did? Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.

What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk."

Uma thurmans optometrist must have wide glasses sometimes

A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink, the bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk, the lady complained about this but then the bartender said, "just shut up and swallow"

are you a mirror,because i see myself in you

In the new Justice League movie Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that? Because Flash is not supported on Windows.

Yo hairline so far back that you need a magnifying glass to see it

Friend: Why did you touch me? Me: That guy in the corner with no hair , glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.

what's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler? The thing is I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall