if you need to squint to read this... you probably need glasses
There were 2 guys in an asylum. One name Kenny and the other is Bob. The nurse went down the hall and saw Kenny act like he was packing his bags. Nurse said “What are you doin Kenny?” Kenny said “Going to Florida for the week.” Nurse said “Alright see ya when you get back.” Next day Nurse went down the hall again and saw Kenny laying down acting like he was holding a wine glass. Nurse said “What are you doing Kenny?” Kenny said “I am at the beach” Nurse said “Oh I forgot your in Florida for the week, see ya when you get back” Bob’s room was across the hall. Nurse went further down the hall and saw Bob on his bed jerking off. Nurse said “Goddamnit Bob what are you doing?” Bob said “Shhh, I am fucking Kenny’s wife right now, he is in Florida for the week”
Damn Really stole my friend glasses well now their blind but not really their dead.
I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling, I mean if they reach high enough they can clean it...
dont say u want to eat out a five year olds pussy cuz i have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy UwU
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year. Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, i give you bad luck for 7 years. Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
POV: Wine Taster in hell
I was, sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. this silhouette begins to speak, "you have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. how do you plead?" the man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit. "guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like I will take any punishment you deem fit." very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request." out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. the boy says "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." the boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, Taste like chicken."
Jayfeather walks across the street, sees glass smash, runs down the street and there lies a body...... what?
I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R Whites in the other..I got into a hot sweat I think I have Corona Virus
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock? A rock can break a glass celing.
What do u call a Downey with glasses? No, me neither
The pope drives around in a glass box or as I like to call him a snipers dream
A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.
What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass? An INVESTIGATOR
People are like taquila glasses
you gotta shoot them down fast
Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg": "I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing with out a few ice Bergs".
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside. He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see”
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph his beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.
