Give jokes
My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You give it a little boogie.
Armless child: Can you give me a hand??
Me: Ok.
"Florida was ranked the worst state in the 50 states by Thriller."
Florida: Well, WE didn't want to give our oranges anyway!
Want to know something good about people giving ZERO fucks about you and living in the country?
Everybody knows nothing.
That do be me though
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
Not to be rude or anything, but I'm not adopted. My boyfriend is, and some of these are really mean because sometimes their parents give them up just because they're ugly or just because of their skin color. We should stop making fun of them, and yes, I do giggle sometimes, but they can be really hurtful sometimes.
What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?
1. It stands for inflation.
2. It limits production.
3. It encourages cooperation.
4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.
Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"
To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."
Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."
The police said "How old are you?"
Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.
Can I get a glass of water? I will give you anything you ask.
Really, then give me a pond of water.
Why did Anna give Carson a blowjob?
He made her.
Remember the big forehead kid who said, "Give me a knife, I'm going to kill myself" because of being bullied?
His head was too big to even exist, and that's why he's dead.
Why did God give women legs?
1. To look at.
2. To wrap around your neck when you’re eating her out.
Me: Hi Jaiden.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.
Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*
Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.
FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!
Roses are red, violets are blue, give me free OnlyFans so I don't touch the youth.
I got sent to the principal's office for giving an orphan kid a family-size pack.
Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?
Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."
Therapist: That's not so bad.
Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."
Never give up, 'cause never gonna give you up.
Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna desert you.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
If I missed something, I'll give it to you. If you taked it, you are a mistake.