Give jokes
Why did Anna give Carson a blowjob?
He made her.
Me: Hi Jaiden.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.
Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*
Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.
FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!
Why did God give women legs?
1. To look at.
2. To wrap around your neck when you’re eating her out.
Remember the big forehead kid who said, "Give me a knife, I'm going to kill myself" because of being bullied?
His head was too big to even exist, and that's why he's dead.
Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?
Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.
Memes
shrek has a potato for a nose
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
Hahahahahahahaha what a knee slapper!
I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.
You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!
Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?
A. She didn't know how to swallow.
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
How do you give a woman from Alabama a nice compliment?
Answer: You say to her, "Hey, nice tooth!"
Never give up, 'cause never gonna give you up.
Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna desert you.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
If I missed something, I'll give it to you. If you taked it, you are a mistake.
Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?
Brother: Why though?
Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.
I like my wife like I like my coffee: so sweet, it gives me headaches.
Why are orphans always on the toilet?
Because they don't have anyone to give them some toilet paper!
Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!
Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?
Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."
Therapist: That's not so bad.
Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."
I got sent to the principal's office for giving an orphan kid a family-size pack.
What’s the best thing about midgets??
They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.