Give jokes

I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.

How do you give a woman from Alabama a nice compliment?

Answer: You say to her, "Hey, nice tooth!"

Never give up, 'cause never gonna give you up.

Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna desert you.

Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?

It gives him gas.

If I missed something, I'll give it to you. If you taked it, you are a mistake.

Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?

Brother: Why though?

Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.

I like my wife like I like my coffee: so sweet, it gives me headaches.

Why are orphans always on the toilet?

Because they don't have anyone to give them some toilet paper!

Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!

Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?

Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."

Therapist: That's not so bad.

Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."

I got sent to the principal's office for giving an orphan kid a family-size pack.

What’s the best thing about midgets??

They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.

Roses are red, violets are blue, give me free OnlyFans so I don't touch the youth.

Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.

Kids changing the channel to Annie.

Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.

TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.

Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I can’t find Bo!

My little brother is scared of ghosts so I won't let him watch Bayern today.

Okay, I may be strict, but I won't let Tapindowski give my son a heart attack. His shocking ghosting performance today is a danger to my family and I'll ask UEFA to investigate the matter.

"Never gonna give you up."

Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!

The waiter comes and asks you for the check. Instead I give him a 20 dollar bill and say, "Boy, you can keep it!"

If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?

Worms and rotten fruit.

If I worked for Edexcel, I'd give Caroline Flack an A* for her physics experiment.