Give jokes
Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?
Option one: Horses can't speak at all.
Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.
Little Johnny is a trucker. He stops at a bar. Johnny sees a sign that says, "Hamburgers for two dollars, cheeseburger for three dollars, handjob for ten dollars." He walks up to the bartender and whispers to her, "Are you the one that gives the handjobs for ten dollars?" She replies, "Yes, that's me." Johnny says, "Well, can you wash your hands because I want a cheeseburger?"
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.
So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.
So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”
The principal's office smells nice.
My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.
Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.
Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.
And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...
If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Hey, wanna know why you remind me of a waitress?
Because you handle my food great, and I give you a good tip afterwards.
Give me followers instantly!
Q: Why did the flat earther become gay?
A: He knows a thing or two about giving dome.
Q: Why did he eventually become asexual?
A: He doesn't believe in anything south of the border.
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"You're off rhythm, but I'll give you a hand!"
What's the only time women are doing real work? When they are giving blow jobs.
If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.
I think your hairline might have the hiccups.
Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
Why did the rapper become a barber?
To give everyone FRESH CUTS.