TFW you're having sex with your German girlfriend and she won't stop telling you her age.
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.
But that’s just me in a nutshell.
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!
I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!
Hey selfish king, I see you need a girlfriend ;)
The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
My girlfriend got COVID.
This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.
I suggested to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hair back.
Apparently, that’s insensitive to someone during chemo.
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
