Girlfriend jokes
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.
Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...
I didn’t expect her to come back so early.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!
I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!
I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
Hey selfish king, I see you need a girlfriend ;)
The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.