Girlfriend jokes
Who do you call someone that steals his brother's girlfriend and [is] disowned by his whole family? Brandon.
A nickname to call your short GF:
Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.
We never met again.
My girlfriend's pregnant. I'm 13. She was raped.
I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀
My boyfriend accused me of cheating. I told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"
He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"
My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?
Me: My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, and I had her wheelchair.
Me: Guess who came crawling right back?
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.