Girlfriend jokes
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
My girlfriend got COVID.
This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!
I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.
I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
Hey selfish king, I see you need a girlfriend ;)
The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?