Girlfriend jokes
I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.
When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.
Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.
My girlfriend said she's having a horrible time with her period. I ask her which one, but realize she's not talking about school...
We don't see each other very much.
Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.
I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀
Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare GiGIHADid.
"Knock, knock!""Who's there?""Abby."
"Abby who?""Your Mexican girlfriend."
My boyfriend accused me of cheating. I told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
Literally every movie:
"I love you." "I love you, too."
My life:
My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶
Why does my girlfriend have a dick? Oh wait, I'm gay.
My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.
As we speak now, someone is making arrangements for December with your girlfriend.
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly, a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs.
Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you want sex.
Boyfriend: No, I don't.
NEXT MINUTE
The man could hear banging.
My girlfriend passed away recently.
At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.
Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.
If your blind girlfriend says you have a big cock, she's probably just pulling your leg.
You know why Elmer Fudd always came out hunting rabbits in the woods? Because Bugs Bunny would not stop flirting with his girlfriend.