When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
what's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?
What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
"I thought what we had was special!"
My girlfriend gave me the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."
"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮💨
My girlfriend got COVID.
This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.
I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf.
So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.
I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.
A nickname to call your short GF:
Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok
I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.
Like it’s my next meal.
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
how old are my girlfriends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjBTsoYph48 oh and there my little sisters
For my girlfriend and friends to chat :)
I raped a girl and I liked it.
I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right.
Don't mean I'm in love tonight.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
